Body Image Pressures and Eating Disorders in Asian Cultures
In this blog, Ash shares her lived experience of an eating disorder, and how weight-focused comments are normalised in Asian cultures.
Growing Up Filipino in Australia
I was born in the Philippines, but grew up mostly in Australia, having moved here when I was two years old. My parents made sure my sister and I stayed connected to our culture, by celebrating Filipino traditions and keeping Filipino food on weekly rotation. They spoke to us, and continue to, in the main language of the Philippines – Tagalog. However, it was also important to them that we learned English.
At home, I lived with a different language, food and environment, and my family was loud and energetic. But outside that space, at school, English was the only language accepted. My peers’ lunches looked different to mine – they had sandwiches, while I brought meat and rice. Everyone would look at my food in disgust. I felt like an outsider, that I was different.
The high school I attended was not very diverse – most of my classmates were Caucasian and born in Australia, and I felt isolated and alone, coming from a minority group. No one had my skin colour or eye shape or body shape – the things I was most insecure about.
The girls I grew up with didn’t look like me and I felt like I had to change my whole personality to feel accepted. They seemed confident, popular and constantly surrounded by attention, and I often compared myself to them. I was shy, introverted, and fearful of being disliked, so I turned to food, as a way to feel some control over my life.
Appearance Comments in Asian Cultures
This feeling of not being good enough because I looked different from my peers, played a big role in fuelling my eating disorder, which was only intensified by the normalisation of weight focused and body image comments within my Asian community. In Asian cultures, specifically within the Philippines, there is a beauty standard that is so incredibly unrealistic: petite, light-framed and underweight. If you do not fit into this standard, you are immediately seen as unattractive.
When I was experiencing an eating disorder, I was afraid to go to family events because I knew there would be comments about the way that I looked – from my skin tone to my weight. Relatives asking me how much I weighed was a ‘normal’ question and aunties providing ‘nutrition weight loss tips’ was also ordinary conversation.
If your weight or appearance changes, it’s deeply engrained in Asian culture for relatives to point out these physical changes directly, without any filter or sensitivity. These appearance-focused comments were normalised – and you’d be subjected to them, regardless of if you’re living in a larger body, or were underweight. In my experience, there was always an opinion and a backhanded compliment about my weight or appearance.
Being underweight is so glorified within Asian culture that I felt like I had to change my body to fit the standard – even if my body composition wasn’t made for it.
When I would excessively exercise, it wasn’t a concern. It was praised and applauded because I had ‘discipline’ and ‘self-control’. However, if I had muscle, I was portrayed as ‘too masculine’ and undesirable. Being in a larger body was seen as unattractive and being underweight was linked to ‘beauty’’.
When it comes to appearance ideals, whatever your body looks like, it is never ‘good enough’. I was chasing perfection, and to be the smallest version of myself to be accepted, but these harmful beauty standards only led me deeper into my eating disorder.
Mental Illness, Eating Disorders and Asian Culture
In the Philippines, mental illness is seen as taboo. There’s a common belief that mental illness is made up and eating disorders do not exist. I was raised by two immigrant parents from third world countries that faced food insecurity and was grateful when food was brought to the dinner table. But when I was struggling with an eating disorder, I would feel guilty that I was privileged to have access to food and struggled a lot with this idea that no one would believe me if I said I had an eating disorder.
When I did share what I was going through with my family, they couldn’t comprehend that someone could struggle with food, which led to treatment being delayed.
[My family] believed that if you were not physically in harm, then any struggles didn’t need to be discussed. It took several medical tests and vital sign results to ‘prove’ to my family that I was unwell. It was only when they saw the physical symptoms of my eating disorder, that I was taken seriously.
I started treatment under my family’s control, which involved endless nights of crying and arguments with my parents as to why I couldn’t ‘just eat.’ I was no longer allowed to go to school, walk or exercise until I was medically well. Doctor and psychologist appointments became a big part of my routine for three months until I gained back the weight. It was incredibly difficult. I felt I had lost all control. I felt numb to the pain in my stomach and the hateful comments I would tell myself. The endless amounts of food I needed to consume shattered my mind, yet no one could help me but myself. But surely enough time slowly ticked away. Colouring books become filled with vibrant colours and journals became full of thoughts and hope.
My family was finally able to challenge the silence and stigma around eating disorders within Asian culture and redefine unspoken rules and misconceptions around mental illness. Seeing my body and mental health deteriorate, changed their perspective.
Recovery and Challenging Stigma in Asian Culture
I am extremely grateful for the support of my family, who helped me heal from anorexia nervosa. Without them I wouldn’t be where I am today. They learnt a lot about this illness but also a lot about themselves which completely shifted their mindset. However, it shouldn’t take a family member being unwell for this mindset shift to happen. We need to dismantle Asian cultural expectations at the core and spread awareness around body positivity and normalise body diversity.
The stigma around mental health and eating disorders continues to be perpetuated within many different cultures, and unfortunately the consequences remain neglected. This ‘traditional’ way of thinking continues to destroy self-image, self-confidence and damage mental health.
As we move forward, I encourage all Asian communities to move toward recognising that mental illness should be treated with the same intent as physical illnesses, and that eating disorders are serious mental illnesses that require treatment, education and support.
To other people struggling with cultural beauty and appearance ideals, I would say please be kind to yourself. There are going to be good days and bad days, but those good days are pivotal for healing. Any progress is still progress. Surround yourself with people you love and want to see YOU do better. I know it’s not easy especially coming from family members and a culture where beauty standards are normalised. But this current generation is where we come in and show the older generation that it’s time to move away from judgement and societal pressures. You are so incredibly beautiful and unique, your body does not determine your worth.
About the Author
Ashley is a young Filipino immigrant who migrated to Australia. She is an advocate for equality, mental health and body image positivity. She is passionate about spreading awareness around the stigmatisation with eating disorders and hopes her lived experience can aspire many other young women. She is currently completing her Masters of Dietetics to hopefully be a person that helps young people the same way they helped her during her journey to healing from Anorexia Nervosa.
Get Support
No matter how the eating disorder developed, recovery is possible, and Butterfly is here to help.
For confidential and free counselling, call the Butterfly National Helpline on 1800 ED HOPE (1800 33 4673) or chat online or email, 7 days a week, 8am-midnight (AEDT).
Find an eating disorder professional – search Butterfly’s National Referral Database to find eating disorder practitioners closest to you.
