Men and Eating Disorders: Stories of Recovery (Including My Own)

In this blog, UNSW researcher Richard Knight shares his own lived experience, and highlights upcoming research exploring men’s experiences of eating disorders.

When we think of eating disorders, we often picture a young woman battling unrealistic beauty standards. But eating disorders don’t discriminate — they affect people of all genders, ages, and backgrounds. As a man who has experienced this firsthand, I want to challenge the stigma, raise awareness, and offer hope to others that recovery is possible.

The Hidden Struggle

For years, I didn’t recognise that I had an eating disorder. I too thought this was a women’s illness and men and boys didn’t get eating disorders. For the most part, there are no media references to men living with an eating disorder, beyond the occasional reference of men with ‘big anorexia’ otherwise known as muscle dysmorphia. This stereotype didn’t fit with me, and no doubt for others. Even when I was hospitalised, I was the only male, and felt like the ‘odd one out’, further confirming that this was a women’s only problem. In turn, this increased my shame and embarrassment, causing me to further retreat from the idea of having an eating disorder.

Men with eating disorders often go unnoticed or undiagnosed. Societal expectations tell us to ‘man up’ or push through emotional distress. The way I pushed through my distress was starving myself and abusing alcohol. There’s a cultural silence around male eating disorders, especially when it comes to food, body image, or control. Some of us may learn to express emotional pain through unsustainable physical behaviours — restriction, bingeing, purging, or over-exercise. In some cases, these behaviours can take over their lives and, tragically, lead to death.

My Turning Point

The turning point came when I realised that I was no longer living — I was surviving in a rigid world ruled by numbers, involving calories, scales, exercise. My quality of life was poor, my relationships were suffering, and my mental health was deteriorating. I knew I couldn’t keep going like this. I was in and out of hospitals for many years without no real change, stuck in a revolving door.

Recovery didn’t happen overnight. It started with acknowledging the problem, then seeking help. I reached out to a mental health professional who was trauma-informed, empathic, and understood eating disorders in men. The most important thing for me was forming a connection with the therapist, in which I felt safe, heard and listened to. This was significant in my recovery. I finally found someone who validated my experience and gave me the time to talk, listening to me without being judged.

Hope

Men do recover from eating disorders. Unfortunately, there were no stories of recovery of men that inspired my recovery. This gap further increased my isolation. I did however come across stories of women with eating disorders, but I did not relate to these. There were many moments that I lost hope of recovering. In these instances, I handed my hope to friends and my auntie to hold onto until such time I was able to gain enough insight and energy to hold onto my hope. Hope was also nurtured through activities like writing, gardening, and engaging with others who were on their own recovery journey. Importantly, I believed in the possibility of a life beyond an eating disorder.

What Helped

Recovery looked like:

• Learning to sit with discomfort, rather than trying to control it with food.
• Challenging old beliefs, such as that thinness equals worth, or that emotion equals weakness.
• Letting to let go of “perfect” eating and regimental exercise and embrace a more relaxed attitude to food and exercise.
• Finding support from professionals who didn’t dismiss my gender or my experience.
• Holding onto or allowing others to hold onto hope.
• And finally, gradually developing a new identity from a person with an eating disorder to someone with multiple interests and hobbies. This was done by engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfilment, such as travelling and writing. This fostered a sense of purpose beyond disorder and improved my quality of life.

One of the most transformative steps I took was learning to let go of ‘control’. This meant developing new coping strategies that didn’t involve relying on my eating disorder. Engaging with others who understood the complexities of eating disorders proved invaluable; it helped normalise my experiences. I found strength through peer support, therapy, group programs, and in my research. Additionally, cultivating self-compassion and self-awareness played a vital role in my journey to recovery.

Why We Need to Talk About This

Too many men are still suffering in silence. According to research, around 1 in 4 people with an eating disorder are male — yet treatment programs, are often designed by women for women. Research has showed that men are less likely to be diagnosed, less likely to seek help, and more likely to feel shame. Additionally, there is limited research on men with eating disorders. This is because recruitment is notoriously difficult, or researchers may want a bias-homogeneous sample, or individuals are excluded because they do not meet criteria, such as not fitting into the traditional diagnostic categories of anorexia or bulimia.

We need more visibility, more resources tailored to men, and most importantly, and more research.

To Any Men Reading This – Start with One Small Step

Recovery is possible. It’s not linear – you’ll have your ups and downs. I’ve also been in the belief that recovery does not happen in isolation but with people, both family and health professionals. In my experience, recovery is about taking small incremental steps rather than big steps. Don’t fast track your recovery, otherwise you’re at risk of relapsing. Take a slow gradual approach. Identify what works for you – try different strategies and don’t rely on one but integrate multiple strategies.

If you’re unsure where to start, start with one small step. Speak to a friend. Reach out to a GP or counsellor. Look for a support group or a helpline. Just start!

My Research

My research explores men’s recovery experiences from eating disorders, focusing on the barriers and enabling factors influencing their recovery.

As part of this research, I’m currently recruiting men (aged 18 and over) who have experienced an eating disorder and are at any stage of recovery, to take part in a one-hour confidential interview. This study aims to give men the opportunity to voice their lived experiences of recovery—stories that are too often overlooked in mainstream research. By taking part, you’ll be helping us develop a better understanding of men’s needs and may help to improve eating disorder services for men. If you would like to participate, please email me at z5459919@ad.unsw.edu.au and I will send out more information about the research. Participation is anonymous and confidential, and you will be compensated $50 for your time.

 

About the Author

My name is Richard Knight, and I am a lived experience researcher. After years of battling anorexia nervosa, I have recovered. I value and privilege the lived experience, recognising its importance in driving change by listening to those with first-hand knowledge. I also identify as queer, I am a survivor of sexual trauma, and I am a suicide survivor and identify as neurodivergent. These experiences provide me with an intersectional lens to understand others who may face similar situations. Additionally, I work as a mental health social worker.

One of my all-time favourite activities is travelling. This year, I plan to visit India to explore its rich culture and experience its diverse traditions and cuisine. I intend to visit historic landmarks, interact with locals, and immerse myself in the vibrant atmosphere.

I also co-parent with a dog called Lola. We hang out together at home or in the park. She loves exploring the outdoors, sniffing everything in sight, and socialising with other dogs. Spending time with her is always a fun and rewarding, bringing joy and relaxation to both of us.

 

Get support 

If you’re struggling with an eating disorder or body image concerns, reach out for help from professionals that understand eating disorders. 

• For confidential and free counselling, call the Butterfly National Helpline on 1800 ED HOPE (1800 33 4673) or chat online or email, 7 days a week, 8am-midnight (AEDT). 
• Find an eating disorder professional – search Butterfly’s National Referral Database to find eating disorder practitioners closest to you.