Navigating Anorexia Nervosa and Delayed Puberty
Young people living with eating disorders can experience delayed or varied onset of puberty. In this blog, Becky shares her experience navigating anorexia nervosa and delayed puberty, and the ways this caused her to feel isolated from her peers.
I first exhibited symptoms of anorexia nervosa from the moment that I was old enough to make my own decisions about my nutrition. My descent into malnutrition caused by anorexia nervosa happened gradually during the first part of my life. This came along with not showing any signs of the body changes caused by puberty until early adulthood.
Not experiencing puberty changes as an adolescent had a negative impact on my social connectedness.
Not only did my anorexia nervosa cause me to feel isolated, but I would remain as silent as possible during the conversations that my friends would have about the physical and emotional changes caused by puberty. I would agree with whatever someone else had mentioned prior if someone wanted to know my opinion on an issue mentioned in these discussions. I was concerned that my friends would realise that puberty was something that I knew nothing about. I thought that if they became aware of me experiencing delayed puberty, they would make the connection that it was caused by me having anorexia nervosa. My anorexia nervosa diagnosis was my biggest secret.
I initially thought that starting puberty would make me feel less vulnerable to being outed as someone with anorexia nervosa by giving me the material needed to enter discussions surrounding sexual health. I am now aware that my answers to questions about my life will always make me seem different to others. This is because anorexia nervosa has caused my personal experiences to be dissimilar to most individuals. I have often communicated incomplete narratives about my own experiences, including those about sexual health, to prevent my anorexia nervosa diagnosis being revealed to other people.
I have become exhausted and frustrated with intentionally hiding information about myself, but having more open discussions with my friends about sexual health and other important parts of my life makes me feel more supported and socially connected. Other people who are impacted by delayed puberty and anorexia nervosa could also benefit from having more open discussions when in a safe environment.
Having a late start to puberty also caused me distress related to not reaching milestones that my peers achieved at the same age. My friends were sorting through their sexual thoughts and feelings around the time they started puberty in adolescence, but anorexia nervosa caused me to not have the physical and mental health needed for this to take place until after settling into adulthood. Concern that my peers are progressing faster than me has prevented me from appreciating sexual development and behaviour.
Understanding that anorexia nervosa has caused me to endure difficulties that are different from many others has seen me work towards recognising that my progress should not be compared to others. I think that other people who are going through delayed puberty and anorexia nervosa would also gain from shifting their comparison mindset.
About the author
Becky (she/her) has a mission to use her platforms to make health communication more inclusive to individuals with lived experience of anorexia nervosa. Her work is informed by her lived experience.
Get support
If you’re struggling with an eating disorder or body image issues, please call the Butterfly National Helpline for confidential and free counselling, on 1800 ED HOPE (1800 33 4673) or chat online or email, 7 days a week, 8am-midnight (AEDT).
