A letter to my future daughter
My Dear Little Bubba,
A few more weeks…
As much as I would love to meet you, I also just want to keep you in there, nice and safe. Because once you make your debut into the world, I know that there are things I cannot protect you from. The world isn’t always the beautiful place it should be. There will be days when you’ll come across things that need understanding and patience. In saying that, I want to tell you now that just like I found a safe place in your grandma and grandpa, your father and I will do everything we can to make sure you know you are loved.
I pray that you will one day grow up to be a woman who is secure in her identity and doesn’t buy into society’s definition of beauty. Now that I’ve spent a few years in this world, I have learnt and am slowly learning to believe that my own beauty does not rely on the pressures of fitting into this world but the intentions of my heart. I pray that as I learn to believe this, I am equipping myself of knowing how to share it all with you.
I pray that when you are young, you won’t have to encounter things like I did. My hope is that you become a healthy child, maybe a little bit chubby because that would be absolutely cute! But as a chubby kid I got called fat a few times and unfortunately, I remember who they were and I have been forever scarred. I would love to think that when you come to an age of awareness, I have prepared you enough to be able to correctly filter any harmful words mentioned to you. Words that could potentially stay with you forever. I would love to think that I can prepare you enough, so that you never have to put yourself or your body through anything just to fit in.
I have done things, child, that weren’t the slightest bit worth it. I had to see people, I had to get well and I hope that is never something you have to go through. The pain and the heartbreak, I only wish I could shelter you from all of them.
I pray that by the time you grow up, the world will come to a better understanding of the power of words.That society will come to its senses about what beauty really means. See, grandma and grandpa always stood up for me and reassured me that I was okay. And that even though people called me fat, it’s what is deep inside that truly matters. But I was a kid, and what did I know? I was very impressionable, I got easily confused.
I hope there will never come a time that you will doubt your father and I when we tell you how beautiful you are. And I pray that one day when you meet a man who will love you forever, you will understand and know when he says you are the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Nothing has ever broken my heart more than looking your father in the eye when he told me I am beautiful, knowing how sincere he is but not believing any of it. I hope you never have to question anyone who sees your true beauty, just because society defines it in a completely skewed way.
I hope you’ll carry yourself everyday with confidence, make up or no makeup, in gowns made by Auntie Pia or in trackies, high heels or thongs, school uniform or (hopefully) jiu jitsu gi. Because your external appearance shouldn’t make a difference on how you feel from the inside, you little beautiful soul.
If anything that has happened to me ever happens to you, know that I am here and I will fight for you just like grandma did for me.
I love you kid. More than you know. And we haven’t even met!
(Cant believe I’m saying this..) Mum