A Stronger Voice
For a long time, I thought that being smaller would make me happier.
What started as a desire to improve myself slowly became something much bigger. Food, exercise, body image, and the number on the scale began to consume my thoughts. I spent so much energy trying to control my body that I lost sight of the person I was underneath it all.
At the time, I didn’t realise how much of my life was being taken away from me. I missed out on experiences, isolated myself from people I cared about, and became trapped in a cycle of anxiety, guilt, and self-criticism. Although people around me could see that I was struggling, I often convinced myself that I was fine because I wasn’t “sick enough” to deserve help.
Eventually, my health deteriorated and I required hospital treatment. Looking back, it was one of the most difficult periods of my life, but it was also the moment that forced me to confront the reality of what I was going through. For the first time, I began to understand that an eating disorder is not about food or weight. It is a serious mental illness that can affect every aspect of a person’s life.
Recovery has not been a straight line. There have been setbacks, difficult days, and moments where old thoughts have resurfaced. What I have learned, however, is that recovery is not about perfection. It is about continuing to choose yourself, even when it feels difficult.
Today, I work as a singing teacher and have the privilege of helping young people find confidence in themselves through music. I am also continuing my studies and pursuing the career I have always dreamed of. While my journey with body image and self-worth is still ongoing, I no longer allow those struggles to define who I am.
One of the most important lessons I have learned is that our worth is not measured by our appearance. The qualities that make us valuable: our kindness, creativity, resilience, passions, and relationships, cannot be reflected by a number on a scale.
If you are struggling with an eating disorder or disordered eating, I want you to know that you do not need to wait until things get worse before asking for help. You do not need to prove that you are suffering enough to deserve support. Recovery is possible, and you are worthy of that recovery exactly as you are.
My eating disorder took away my voice for a long time. Recovery has helped me find it again.
