Finding my worth
My journey began in 2003. After years of being bullied, my self esteem had hit an all time low. Losing weight was not solely about being skinny. It was partly striving for perfection and partly a way to make myself suffer (i.e. I felt like I deserved it).
My recovery was long, hard and challenging. By 2006, I’d had three hospital admissions (9 months in total), many medical appointments, psychological treatment and daily struggles to survive this ongoing battle. I was told I was one of the worst cases they (professionals) had seen…even they didn’t know where to start with my recovery! I was told that if I was admitted a day later in 2003, I wouldn’t have made it to the next day……
My purpose for sharing my story is – there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m proof! I fought the torturous battle, day in, day out. I finished my schooling at home and attended University before landing my dream job!
My message is – my gosh the road to recovery is hard! It’s by no means easy….BUT IT’S WORTH IT! You deserve to be happy and deserve to live a free and fulfilling life without daily torture from the tormenting voice inside your head. YOU ARE WORTH IT, YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!
I know a range of people will read this; survivors, soon to be survivors and loved ones watching their loved ones through this extremely challenging journey. Without my loved ones this journey would have been much more difficult. They were there every step of the way. My advice…just be there, listen and provide support without forcing someone to eat. It’s not about eating, it’s about feeling so unworthy that you don’t deserve to eat. Make your loved one realise they are worthy and they are loved and appreciated. Help them build their self esteem and help them reach their dreams.
I would like you all to consider…..how you’d feel if a voice in your head was constantly taunting you, putting you down, second guessing everything you did or ate….every second of the day….even in your sleep! What would make you want to fight and beat this voice? Your loved ones, career aspirations, family, or children. There is a reason to live!
For me in the beginning I held on for my family. Eventually, I fought to achieve my career goals and succeed. I’m completely recovered and I’m inspired to help others. If I can do it, YOU CAN DO IT TOO!
I believe in you!