Katie's Story

I wake each day to fight the battle


I wake each day to fight the battle, the battle that is recovery from a eating disorder.


The same routine, after 8 years you assume it would become easier, more manageable but the reality is that it doesn’t.


I wake each day knowing I have to confront my fears by following my meal plan and eating 6 meals. I wake knowing I have to spend money on doctors, dieticians, psychologists, counsellors and other appointments. I have many things I would rather spend my money on, but that is the harsh reality of having a eating disorder.


I have been suffering with Anorexia now for 8 years. Over this time I have had my ups and downs, but unfortunately I am yet to be recovered. My motivation has changed a lot over time. I won’t go into details but basically I have had my fair share of hospital admissions, naso-gastric tubes, tears, arguments and hours spent pushing my fork around my plate wishing the food would disappear. Sometimes I have confidence I can recover and feel fueled with inspiration while other days I struggle to get out of bed knowing the torture which confronts me.


It hurts that I have not recovered, I hate what I put my family through. I am so lucky they continue to stand by and support me, however the eating disorder has definitely compromised my relationships. I have few friends left and don’t have the confidence to go out in order to make new friends.


I wish that I could tell you that I have recovered, that all this fighting had been worth something, but the reality is that I still fight, every day.


I know recovery is possible. I know full recovery is possible and I believe that it is attainable for all of us who fight for it. If you still battle each day, like me, please be assured you are not alone and you are not a failure. Please remind yourself everyone’s journey is different and don’t invalidate yours because if you put your hand on your chest you will feel your heart beat which means you are alive, you still have hope and you still have purpose. You have survived 100% of your worst days and if that doesn’t give you confidence to keep fighting, I don’t know what will.


Its not easy but it has to be worth it.


Keep reaching for the light at the end of the tunnel because one day things will get better.


Sending everyone strength. Suffers please keep fighting and carers please keep caring.