I was recently told by a complete stranger that I have a ‘really nice energy about me
I think I have recovered from my ED but I believe it will always be part of me to some extent. It is a bit like a shadow that follows me around, but now I can control it.
Recovering from anorexia was about finding out who I am and what I stand for. It was figuring out why I hated myself so much and why I took that hate out on my physical form.
Recovery was having the realisation that you cannot control everything in sight and nor should you want to. Life is unpredictable, messy and impermanent. Things change and change inspires adaptation and growth, which is a good thing. You certainly can’t control other people, including what they think of you or how they treat you. The knowledge that I am the only person I can control was monumental to my recovery.
Not being afraid to try things and fail enabled me to achieve my goals and feel good about myself. I have learned to appreciate and respect myself as a worthwhile person with strengths and weaknesses rather than a number on the scales or a size of jeans.
I was recently told by a complete stranger that I have a ‘really nice energy about me’. At first I thought it was a strange thing to say, but when I reflected on it for the rest of that day I realised this energy comes from being free. Freedom for me is living flexibly like a tree blowing in the wind. It is not getting your feelings hurt or worrying about things. It is saying no and making new friends who you genuinely like. It is learning every day and relishing opportunities. It is enjoying life because life is there to be lived and I am not wasting another second of it.