My anorexia story and big realisation
My anorexia started with one comment from a classmate. I was 11 and had a crush on this boy and he came up to me one day and told me I was fat. I didn’t know what to think! I hadn’t given body image or weight a thought because I was happy living life and had a great relationship with food (especially chocolate hehe)!
This one comment lead to me obsessing over how I looked and food. I hated it! I hated not being happy with my body which I knew deep down I loved so much. The hardest part was hiding things my eating disorder made me do from my parents and continuously telling them everything was ok. It was like I was on auto pilot when Anorexia made me do something. It was like I wasn’t there when I was this person. I became a lying machine and never told the truth anymore.
I started becoming more sick by the day but continued to tell everyone I was alright.
I was so so so cold and so tired! My hands and feet turned blue, my nails hadn’t grown in months and my hair was coming out. I barely made it through the day and when I got home I would go to bed. I knew I was hurting myself and I knew I needed serious help but I found comfort in my eating disorder. I knew my eating disorder was bad but it was like an identity to me and a reason to live.
I had lost all happiness and didn’t smile anymore. I wasn’t laughing and I was always angry at everyone just because I was so hungry! I was stuck in starvation syndrome. I was so hungry that I felt physically full! I had forgotten what it felt like to have food in my stomach.
One afternoon I felt the weakest I ever have in my life and my Dad and I had a huge fight over food. I broke down and the next morning my parents took me to a dietician and I confessed everything to her and was made an In Patient and diagnosed with Anorexia.
I am honestly so grateful I was put in hospital for a few weeks and today I’m heading home! I am so excited to heal my relationship with my body and food because I really do love food!!! I can’t wait until I can happily eat and smile freely.
Thank you for listening to my story and know recovery is possible and it is worth it!!