My Carer Experience

I am a carer of a child with an eating disorder, and I want to push back against stigma. I want to talk about eating disorders in the hope it helps someone else – another parent who might be struggling with what to do.

From my perspective, the changes happened slowly and subtly. Shifts in eating patterns initially seemed like ‘healthy eating’. Baggy clothes hid weight changes. Dizziness at school. Even after discussions with the school nurse, and conversations around hospital, with end-of-school exams coming up, it was a tricky time and I wasn’t sure what was the ‘right’ thing to do.

I noticed concerning food habits increase. Eating became a stressful topic. Cooking meals for others but not themselves. I organised a dietitian appointment, and this was helpful, but more support was needed.

I researched and found that adolescent girls and young women are most commonly affected by eating disorders, but it can affect boys too. It often accompanies other conditions, like anxiety, depression, OCD, and a need for control. It’s a complex condition, that leads to both physical and psychological changes. The longer it continues, the more changes it causes in the brain and the harder it is to recover from. Research shows that early intervention is crucial. The earlier that diagnosis and treatment is sought, the better the chances of recovery. Eating disorders have the highest mortality of all mental health conditions.

So I started reaching out to more mental health professionals, especially psychiatrists – but I found many had full books or long waiting periods. I felt as though my concerns were not being taken seriously, and certain treatment pathways were inaccessible until my child was ‘sicker’. Even during an emergency visit to the hospital, my child’s symptoms were dismissed as ‘just anxiety’, and my child was told to “keep exercising as it is important for mental health”.

Eventually, my child was admitted to hospital for inpatient treatment – and even then, there was this harmful perception that she wasn’t ‘sick enough’. Unfortunately, not all staff had a strong understanding of eating disorders – however, there were some staff who were experts in this area, and validated my concerns and the seriousness of my child’s condition.

As a parent, it is hard to know if you are ‘over-reacting’, especially if your child is still eating regularly, but significantly less. And often the person with the eating disorder isn’t able to acknowledge or recognise the seriousness of their symptoms and condition, which makes things hard too.

In my experience, our healthcare team comprised of a psychiatrist, dietitian, eating disorder specialist psychologist, and an additional psychologist.

Early intervention can lead to better treatment outcomes. Trust your gut, and if you’re concerned about a loved one, book in an appointment with an eating disorder specialist early on. There might be long waits, so don’t wait until it gets critical. You are not over-reacting, and help is available.