Navigating PCOS, Restriction, and Recovery
I only thought people develop ED’s as children or teenagers, but there I was, a young adult, with a mental illness I never thought I would have.
I grew up very unaware of my body, wearing what I wanted, when I wanted. I was a confident young woman my whole life until one day, I stepped in a doctors office, questioning why I had not had my period in years. Turns out, I had a common hormonal condition, PCOS. My doctor made me weigh myself, something I never did because I didn’t feel it necessary, I had realised that I was “overweight”. The number I saw shocked me and the doctor’s solution was to lose weight to regain my period. I lived in another state at the time, so had no friends or family near me to seek guidance from. I went to work the next day, telling a colleague about my experience and she suggested a diet that she sometimes did when she wanted to lose weight fast. I followed all her suggestions and as she promised, lost weight extremely quickly. I quickly developed an ED which ended up restricting more than just my food intake. I was less social and more insecure than I ever had been in my life, even though I weighed less than I had in years. I remembered how much more happy and confident I was before that suggestion from a colleague which I feel changed the trajectory of my life. I ended up having to move back to my home state, as I knew I could not recover without the support of my friends and family.
I am now in recovery, and whilst there are good and bad days, I am working towards becoming the girl who I was before. What I learnt through the experience is to seek advice and support from knowledgeable professionals and people that you trust. Isolation only made this disease worse. I could not get better alone. ED’s are not one size fits all. You are already sick enough to get help, even if you don’t fit a certain criteria. I hope this story helps someone or even makes somebody feel a little less lonely.