Recovery is Possible
I struggled for 8 years with body image and my eating disorder where I viewed my body to be fat, disgusting, never good enough and obsessing over it. For me, this came from extreme insecurities, low self esteem/self worth, being a perfectionist, identity issues, anxiety and depression and placing other people’s opinions of me as higher than my own.
My body image issues and disordered eating started around the age of 17. I was dealing with the death of my sister and I had started to use food as a coping mechanism for dealing with emotions, grief and the hard feelings. After school had finished, my binge eating disorder was in full swing. I was constantly in a binge and restrict cycle where my weight and head space would fluctuate and change according to events I was attending and the hard emotions I was dealing with.
After being sexually abused at 19 my headspace and eating disorder reached an all time low. I was leading a double life which involved pretending I was happy, content and ‘in control’ when really I was battling with an eating disorder, un-healed wounds and so many other things.
I have been seeking treatment for the past 9 months and it has been a long, slow and bumpy journey but it has been so worthwhile. Treatment has taught me that I have a purpose in life, I am worthy and that I am so much more than my body and how other people perceive me. It has also taught me that God is so incredibly loving, gracious and healing.
To other people who are at any stage of their eating disorder, I want you to know that recovery is possible and you can create a better life for yourself. You deserve happiness, you are so much more than your body and you are a worthy person.