Starving for Love
Sweet sixteen is supposed to be a period in a young girls life which speaks of prettiness and innocence and all things naive. A time when a young girl begins to develop her own sense of self esteem and respect. A time when her real sense of self begins to take shape and develop. But for me this couldn’t be further from the truth.
The sweet in my sixteen was actually replaced with sourness and a bitterness of the soul. My mind was utterly and without a doubt corrupted by my own deceptive lies of my own self image and worth. I was a walking contradiction. The mirror of my mind spoke lies of you’re not good enough, you’re too fat, just lose a bit more weight, just punish yourself that little bit more and each time I looked at myself in the mirror these lies were loud and clear! I believed my own destructive thoughts that held me captive, that stopped me from being the sweet, innocent and pretty sixteen year old I so desperately wanted to be.
I was a prisoner in the jail of my own mind. I was screaming for attention. I was desperate for affirmation. I was longing for affection. I was starving for love. I befriended anorexia and bulimia for the next few years of my life which led me down a deadly path. I was in and out of hospital and seeing psychiatrists and being placed on every medication possible.
This devastating path which affects so many young girls can be overcome however. After many months later I decided to choose life and not death! I took a leap of faith and began with baby steps. I took one day at a time. One small bite at a time. And eventually I broke free from the illness that cripples and steals the joy from so many young girls. You too can break free and experience freedom, joy and peace again. There is definitely hope. You can overcome this!