Growing up I was always competitive, especially with sports but mostly with myself.
I always had to be perfect, always had to win.
Even in team sports, I had to be the best on the team, otherwise I would be disappointed with myself.
After a stint in hospital being unable to eat, I lost a lot of weight. I noticed how easy it was and how people started to compliment me (as a teenage girl being skinny and looking good was everything). This sparked a controlling, obsession with food and I developed anorexia and bulimia.
My perfectionist nature was the driving force in how quickly I slipped down the dark tunnel of anorexia and only after a comment my Dad made while breaking down in tears to me,(“darling, you are going to die”), forced me to start eating again and the fact I couldn’t walk ten steps, let alone be the best athlete anymore helped drive my recovery.
Ten years later I still have anorexic thoughts but have learnt to love food again, accept my body for what it is and am very lucky to have been able to recover as I have with the love and support of family and friends.
I hope others can see the light at the end of their dark tunnel and come out of it as I did too xxx