Every day is a step closer

I lived a normal happy life when I was younger, never once stayed the night at a hospital or broken a bone or even have a cold…it was like I was immune to it all. Until the day came, I was only 10 years old, in fact it wasn’t even a full month of being ten before my mind starting drowning itself in anorexic thoughts.

I didn’t know it was a big deal then…I thought it was normal, I simply just thought I was going through a phase. I didn’t view myself as a ten year old anymore I saw myself as a different person who would give anything to lose weight. I didn’t know the consequences of it all, yet I didn’t even know what anorexia was back then. Did everyone go through this? I would wonder.

When being offered treats I would force myself to reject, it was so difficult as I was only a child and would have loved to just enjoy something that was considered a treat! Screaming at my parents begging them not to make me eat dinner or call the doctors .

My mum couldn’t watch me fade away. I couldn’t remember my true self anymore it’s like I lost myself. I was sent to hospital after being diagnosed with anorexia by a specialist doctor. There in hospital I stayed for 2 weeks, I would miss my family and my dog so much. I had missed out on school and a normal yet happy childhood were I could enjoy myself, enjoy eating treats, enjoy being happy not miserable and cold.

I disliked the hospital very very much, but what kept me going is what my dad used to say to me “Everyday is a step closer” the thought made me happy but scared at the same time, If I was allowed to go home then that means I’m better, I didn’t want to be better back then.

It’s been 6 years now and I am currently 16 years old. I’m healthy now, I finally found myself again after two hard years of on and off, I found my happiness and am enjoying life!

I hope that whoever is reading this, even if you don’t suffer from anorexia I hope that you know that you are not alone and you are safe.