From caterpillar to butterfly

I sit here today writing this, as I study my degree to become a dietitian and I am more motivated than ever to work with ED patients because I know what it’s like and I never want anyone to go through it. As a teenager I had developed a very poor relationship with food, probably from an array or contributing factors such as unkind words about my body, feeling ‘unhealthy’ as such from poor food choices and just poor self-esteem. This took me down a dark path as I graduated school, not as well as I hoped and my anorexia became more obvious to those around me. But no one did anything. It wasn’t until my hair started falling out and my blood tests came back very abnormal did anyone notice. My desire to be perfect and need for control had gone too far. Little did we know I had dietary protein intolerance from my undiagnosed chronic disease (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) and lots of foods made me ill, so this didn’t help. It wasn’t until I saw the most amazing dietitian that I realised I can be healthy – both in my body and in my mind. That I didn’t need to be skinny to be perfect and healthy did not equate to skinny. I begun to remember how much I enjoyed food and my relationship with it began to improve. I adopted a healthier lifestyle that made me feel good, both about how I looked and how I felt inside. I then decided to love food again and study it. Although this is the short version of the story, it isn’t over. Some days I want to revert despite knowing better. But I know if I can share my experiences in tangent with my profession I have the ability to help others. I never want anyone to feel alone or ashamed with an ED. I want them to feel supported through this time and have them become empowered to recover. I want to help spread body positive messages and change this perception we have of ‘perfect’. If I didn’t go through that I never would have found my passion for food and my determination to work in this field. To me, facing it head on and challenging myself to help others is the best way to beat it. And I know I will never be alone <3