Jacqueline 's Story

Recovering from my eating disorder

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It’s difficult to find the words to describe something so sinister, Anorexia Nervosa brought nothing but chaos and relentless destruction on my life . Not only did I lose weight , I lost something way more important than any number on the scale – I lost myself . My existence was based on ways to restrict and avoid eating and burn off the minimal calories I consumed . When I looked in the mirror I couldn’t see how sick I was , all I saw was a broken girl who wasn’t thin enough despite being underweight . That’s what anorexia does – it distorts your perception .

My journey of anorexia nervosa began because I was suffering from other mental health issues, i couldn’t control what was going on in my head so I thought I could began to control and restrict my intake. I was so depressed that I placed no value on myself and I didn’t care if I hurt myself with my eating disorder . Spending time in hospital getting medical assistance was very confronting – not only was I physically sick I was struggling mentally even more so. Whilst being in hospital, the main focus was my physical health – which made me deteriorate even more mentally.

Once I became weight restored and properly engaged in therapy my life changed for the better. I learnt how to manage my thoughts of restriction and I began to love food again. I’m not saying being weight restored is an automatic cure but it certainly helped me. My family and friends were so valuable to me during my recovery and without them I wouldn’t be here today. I still struggle with mental illness but I’m happy to say that I am a survivor of anorexia nervosa . It broke me to my core and now I am able to eat food freely and exercise for my own enjoyment . For me , my eating disorder is a thing of the past and I can now say that I’m free from anorexia nervosa.