You Will Get Through
Anorexia Nervosa was never talked about when I was growing up and if it was it was in a hushed voice or disapproving tone. I thought, that could ever be me. However, when I transitioned from primary to an all girls high school,it in fact became me. I’m not sure exactly when the toxic behaviours started but I know why it started- I wanted to be in control.
I felt so lost, out of my depth and misplaced in the beginning of high school that I held onto the only thing I felt like I could control, my food and exercise. I would spend hours researching and thinking about ways to lose weight and eventually, this became all I could think about.
The only way I can explain it is a tunnel or a vortex. One moment I wanted to make ‘healthy choices’ and before I knew it,I was being rushed to hospital, shut out most of my friends and feel no sense of hope. I felt trapped with no escape and thought I would feel like this forever.
I was wrong. Although there were moments I relapsed or went back to old behaviours, with the help of my family and close friends I made the decision this wasn’t going to be my life and decided I was going to take control of this eating disorder.
I am still working on the mental recovery to this day (6 years later) but know that I will reach the point where I am free.
The point I am trying to make is that You can and will get through.